oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
