apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
