it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
