i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
