i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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