we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
