who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i will never coherently bang her
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
