in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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