is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
