Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
