Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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