He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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