vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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