I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
