We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
