oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
