Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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