yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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