Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
