I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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