I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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