Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
