Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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