Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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