so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
