gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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