# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
