He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
