Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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