Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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