It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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