Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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