Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize