Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That accounts for only three of the penises
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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