im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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