so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
