Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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