you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
