well you can't waste a boner
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
