He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
