what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
