8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
