Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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