But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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