I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
