brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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