Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
