so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
