He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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