she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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